I’ve put off getting a Brazilian for quite some time because, despite my fondness for regular and swift hair removal, I’m a modest girl. A bikini wax is one thing; exposing everything (and I do mean everything) to a total stranger is something else entirely. ¶ Since its introduction to the United States in 1987, the Brazilian has become increasingly popular, owing to society’s obsession with youthful looks and airbrushed perfection. ¶ I choose the Refinery for my first Brazilian because I’ve heard that theirs are quick and cheap (which is not to say painless). My waxer, Autumn, looks gentle enough—petite with a pixie cut—but she’s all business. I’ve hardly set foot inside a very sparse but clean room when she instructs me to undress from the waist down. There are no cover-ups. Just me, half-naked, on a table. ¶ Before I have a chance to change my mind, Autumn arranges my legs into position (use your imagination). I can’t bear to look as she applies the hot wax and lets the cloth strips rip. Instead, I start talking. Probably about the weather, or Gossip Girl—I don’t really remember—I’m just relieved when she talks back and doesn’t stop for the remainder of our session. ¶ Yes, the pain of a Brazilian is more acute than a standard bikini wax. Imagine your stomach getting pinched in a zipper. Now times that by a thousand. I couldn’t help but shed a few silent tears. ¶ Thankfully, the suffering is short-lived. Autumn applies a soothing lotion and explains how to prevent ingrown hairs with daily exfoliation. The whole thing took about 15 minutes. Would I do it again? None of your beeswax.
WHAT: Brazilian Wax
WHERE: The Refinery, 321 SE 14th Ave., Minneapolis, 612-331-9055
TIME: 15 minutes