Expert answers to your most dire questions
Q: Can we expect a lion or a lamb this spring?
I prefer the “Penguin or Polar Bear” analogy, but for the sake of continuity I guess we can ponder lions and lambs. A weak La Niña (cooling) system over the Pacific Ocean would tend to favor slightly cooler than average weather in March. Statistically the second snowiest month of the season, March should live up to its fickle reputation again this year with at least 8 inches of snow and the first thunderstorms of the spring (in southern Minnesota). All in all, expect a very wild ride.
Q: National Reading Day is March 2. What are you reading now?
I’m on the fourth-grade lecture circuit right now and I keep telling kids that the only way to get smarter, the only way to expand your vocabulary and spark your creativity, is by reading. I’m currently in the middle of The Snowball, a fabulous biography about investment-guru Warren Buffett, and The Driver, a memoir by a manic journalist obsessed with the idea of setting a new cross-country driving record (without winding up in jail) in his specially outfitted BMW M5. Buffet is one of my role models (a man who does good while doing well), but the latter is pure escapism.
Q: I’m a big fan of March Madness. Do you think I should pick the Gophers for my NCAA pool?
Coach Tubby Smith is on a roll, and this year the Golden Gophers have improved in speed, size, and ball handling. Ralph Sampson III is a force of nature, and seniors Jamal Abu-Shamala and Jonathan Williams will get the job done. Beating Wisconsin on their court for the first time in 15 years sent a clear message that this team is special. I’m predicting an 87.8 percent chance of a Big Ten Conference title, and a better than 50-50 chance of a NCAA Tournament Berth. Trust me. I’m a weatherman.
Paul Douglas is a meteorologist, inventor, and businessman living in the Twin Cities. Got a tough question? Send it to email@example.com.