A Scent of MN
• Charity “Chilly” Billows, a former community columnist for the Suburban Free Bugle, will review cold-weather undergarments, felt boot inserts, and certain classes of thermal socks in a monthly dispatch we’ve tentatively titled “Cozier Than Thou.” Thanks to a nonspecific congenital condition that Ms. Billows is fond of calling “the ding-dang shiver-divver-doodles,” which afflicts her on even the sultriest July days, there is no more qualified person for this assignment on the face of the planet. In addition to researching and writing her column, Chilly will be making regular appearances at local outlet malls and hosting a new cable-access program called “Live, Laugh & Love with the Long-John Lady.”
• Preternaturally hirsute naturalist Gil Stringer will pen “Bait Accompli,” a monthly review of suckers, shiners, fatheads, tuffies, chubs, grubs, leeches, crawlers, and white bread rolled into balls. If you think there’s no difference in mouthfeel between Wonder and Tastee, well, just be glad you’re not a carp. And be sure to catch Gil’s feisty blog, “Minnowmentum,” updated daily on our website.
• Glamorous couple-about-town Lisa Lincoln and Jack D. Seville will collaborate on “The Nosy Parkers,” a pugnacious critique of local valet services. Don’t adjust the driver’s seat, punk!
• Not to be outdone by the Times, we will, despite some misgivings on my part, venture into olfactory journalism with the launch of “Air Apparent,” a recurring treatise on household fragrance products (your Glades, your Air Wicks, your Renuzits) penned by Minnesota’s best-loved domestic authority, Felicity Bonds, who will demonstrate how to live by her creed: “What’s the point of air if you don’t know it’s there?” MM