Ineligible Playa

Three signs that Joe Mauer’s love life will have a bigger impact than his swing this season

1. The ladies have turned on him.

Commenting on the Star Tribune’s online article about Mauer’s engagement to St. Paul nurse Maddie Bisanz, jealous readers let the claws out: 75 percent of the sentiments were negative—like, thanks-for-ruining-my-life-you-walking-pair-of-sideburns-jerk negative.
 

2. The crazies are out.

You just know there’s a woman wearing a Mauer jersey and adult diapers driving down to spring training to beg him to call off the nuptials—and it might be the person who left nine posts on his Facebook fan page like these: “You tore up my heart, Joe!” and “Maddie has a bad temper and a bad attitude,” and “Joe, please talk to me.” Keep that bat handy, Mauer.
 

3. He’s more inspiring as a Catholic than a hitter.

When it was revealed that Mauer and Bisanz had first met as good Catholic kids at Cretin-Derham Hall High School, folks got religion—traffic tripled at Catholicmatch.com, a national dating site based in St. Paul. (It didn’t hurt that it posted some of the first public pics of Bisanz on
its blog.)
 

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