Naughty? Nice.

The comic geniuses at the Brave New Workshop can’t let a good trend go unpunished—witness the title of their new holiday sketch show: Fifty Shades of White: A Minnesota XXXmas. Take that however you’d like. Take your mom. It’s all in good fun. Which is why we asked the cast what they really want for Christmas this year and whether they’ve been naughty or nice: we knew we’d get the ridiculous responses for which we love them.


(left to right)
Andy Hilbrands: Naughty or nice? Naughty. I racially segregated all of the M&Ms in my friends’ homes.”¨ I want: A windowless car.

Bobby Gardner: Naughty or nice? I bought my girlfriend flowers (nice), but I also bought my other girlfriend flowers (naughty). I want: All of the He-Man, Transformers, and Ninja Turtle action figures my mom sold in a garage sale without me knowing.

Lauren Anderson: Naughty or nice? Naughty. I bought a new duvet cover when the old one would do. I want: Turbo speed.

Taj Ruler: Naughty or nice? I delivered cookies to firemen (nice) after starting a fire (naughty). I want: For Beanie Babies to be popular again so I can sell these things.

Joshua Eakright: Naughty or nice? Naughty. I enslaved wild deer and a magical species of elf, broke into every Christian house in the world, unfairly judged everyone, ate nothing but sugar until I went into a year-long diabetic coma, and I’m doing it again this year. Ho, ho, ho!”¨ I want: To be as excited about this year’s presents as I was about 1985’s presents.

The show runs November 17 to January 12. More info at