New Year’s Haikus for Minnesota Celebrities

Senior editor Quinton Skinner channels the thoughts of local public figures for 2016—in the Japanese poetry’s 5-7-5 format. 

We’re again channeling the thoughts of noteworthy Minnesota figures for 2016—in the Japanese poetry’s 5-7-5 haiku format.
Kevin Garnett

KEVIN GARNETT
Once I was Da Kid
Old now, I scare the young Wolves.
I haven’t mellowed.
 

Betsy Hodges

BETSY HODGES
Try to help workers
By making rules for work shifts?
Like poking beehives.
 

Chris Coleman

CHRIS COLEMAN
Grand Ave’s big lesson:
Mess with people’s free parking
They turn on you fast.

 

 

Bob DylanBOB DYLAN
I do commercials
For IBM on TV.
Nice mural back home.
 

 

 

Maya Moore

MAYA MOORE
I’ve dominated:
Three titles in just five years.
Put up a statue!
 

 

MinnesotaUS MINNESOTANS
Another survey
Saying that we are the best!
(We’re that insecure?)
 

 

Photos by (top to bottom): garnett: David Sherman, 2004 NBAE; hodges: mark dayton, wikimedia; coleman: city of st. paul; dylan: F. Antolín Hernández; moore: David Sherman, 2004 NBAE

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