[Editor’s note: This is a sponsored blog post written in the style of a humorous spoof parodying news stories. It is fictional and not to be mistaken for a Minnesota Monthly article.]
Paranormal Activity on the Rise in Minneapolis
“Terrifying. There has never been anything like this,” said longtime resident Joe Ohlgren of the Oaklands on 9th extended stay apartment hotel downtown. Ohlgren is referring to the dramatic increase in paranormal activity around the Twin Cities since Minneapolis Trolley Tours began their Candlelight Ghost Tours last fall.
The trolley in question is a historic trolley from New Orleans which was recently brought to the Twin Cities. Minnesota locals have boarded the trolley tour in surprising numbers to experience what many are claiming is a haunted trolley. “It’s just not possible that something so beautiful could be so haunted,” stated recent Minneapolis Trolley Tour rider Anna Marie Gange of Loring Park, visibly shaken, with her husband clinging to her, after a recent ghost tour.
Police Weigh In on Occurrences
The Minneapolis Trolley is so haunted, in fact, it has provoked other long-latent specters around the city. Nicollet Island has witnessed multiple ghost sightings recently. When asked about the ghosts, chief of police Brian O’Hara stated, “If the ghosts are causing disturbances then of course they will have to be cited and apprehended.” No further comment from O’Hara was forthcoming when he was asked how he planned to apprehend the ghosts.
Other Disturbing Trends
The haunted trolley has affected local landmarks, like 300 Clifton Bed and Breakfast, where trolley tour riders congregate before the haunted tours commence. 300 Clifton Bed and Breakfast, which is advertised as a romantic getaway in Minneapolis, has seen an uptick in paranormal happenings since the arrival of the haunted trolley. “Our resident ghost Gertrude has certainly been more active since the Haunted Trolley Tour arrived,” 300 Clifton proprietor Norman Kulba explained. “It is one of the most paranormally active years we have ever had,” continued Kulba, referring to his gorgeous garden estate turned Minneapolis Bed and Breakfast and Airbnb, famous for its luxurious rooms and connection to the Minneapolis Institute of Art.
Some Good News
Ghost sightings appear to be limited to the weekend ghost tour. “The Candlelight Ghost Tours are wildly popular, but so far our other tours are ghost-free,” Kulba explained. “The trolley is used for other Minneapolis Tours as well, like the Breakfast Trolley Tour, Gilded Age Mansion Tour, True Crimes Tour, Wine Tour, and Narrated Scenic Tour. So far, the paranormal activity remains isolated to the weekend haunted tour.” If you are looking for fun things to do this weekend, as of time of publishing, there have been no supernatural sightings on the weekend sightseeing tours.
The Minneapolis Trolley Tour company has a motto, ‘We know things to do in Minneapolis,’ which has inspired some residents to take them up on their downtown tours. “We knew that we would see ghosts, but we came from the burbs anyway. We did the haunted tour, we stayed at the 300 Clifton Bed and Breakfast, and even went into the haunted basement,” Michael and Caitlin Ingersol explained.
If you are intrepid enough to tempt the fates, click here to signup for a Minneapolis Trolley Tour.